Day 364: Cyclical

Second to last day! My finger injury is in that great puckering stage that makes for perfect fidgeting - swirling my fingertip around the pinkish new flesh like a nervous tic. I am being duplicitous in my actions versus reasoning...or at the very least, I was not realizing that what I was fishing for would lead to something I wouldn't want until today when it became glaringly obvious. When you say you wouldn't want an unavailable guy to show interest in you as it would be an immediate deal breaker, it is probably not a good idea to bring up a possible attraction to third parties.

So that plus the return of the old non-flame non-relationship non-everything will make this new year especially...colorful. I just hope I can steer clear of anything that would compromise my integrity and that I can maintain my sanity. Yes. Sanity would be good.

In the past year I have gone from bored to miserable to slightly interested, but that was only in terms of my mental enjoyment. Of course, my living/life experience hasn't really developed and I am in the same place I was this time last year in terms of moving and hoping a refresh will boost some emotional satisfaction into my life. I am hopeful loneliness (alone, but not actually lonely) will do me good and I will have less money but more self-sufficiency which is one thing I am more than ready for.