Sunday, November 13, 2011

Day 317: Housing Hesitation

So I'm not sure if I am conducting an experiment in self-sabatoge or what, but I am hesitating about this studio apartment. I went with Sandra today to check it out and I don't know what I was expecting. I feel like I knew it wouldn't be a fancy place, it is cheap for a reason. But it had faux-wood floors and plenty of space for me. It also had a warped door and a pesky stove top. I could fix it up though...but is it worth it? I don't know. At this moment, typing it out, I feel like it isn't. But nothing else will be either. I mean, nothing that price range is going to be better placed than that place.

I tried to talk it out with dad and he tried to impress upon me that I shouldn't feel pressured to make a decision, but I do. I have to make up my mind quick before someone else takes it, because they will. Then I start thinking I am being a princess and I need to suck it up. The mere fact I feel hesitation makes me wonder if it's an intuitive thing. Maybe I am trying to warn myself. If something was meant to be, wouldn't I be more sure of it?

I'll sleep on it to be sure. Then there is that inkling anxiety about work tomorrow. We start the live-cases full on. We can pretty much take our time on them which is what I plan to do. I don't want to start dreading this stuff just because it is challenging. Watch, a few months from now it will be the opposite - I'll just be bored and it will all be old hat. The people make it good though. I like those kids for the most part. People who will collectively Wing Stop with me are people to believe in. One is a Whovian, so even better.

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