Whoo-e. It was a mixed emotion day. I woke up early and did my volunteer thing. Didn't have any problem folding and arranging men pants for two hours. Though, I found I have no idea what the difference between women and men pants are...I just don't shop enough. So there were probably some womens mixed in. Oh well. I felt energized by the time I left (after needing assistance from a police officer to get an EMS vehicle to move so it wasn't blocking me...awkward) but I ended up just going home a shivering in bed.
It was cold in the house and no amount of bundling up was working so I finally gave in a changed out my comforters. There is something about changing the bedding that makes the season change real. But now here I am with a warmer night and a heavy down duvet. Hope I don't have to turn on the fan. So I was cozy and watching television and debating whether I should contact someone or not. Then I was sure I would but I was hesitating. Then he signed off and I couldn't. So I watched more television. Then he got back on and before I could convince myself to say anything, he did.
I was going to bed last night, wondering what to do. It's almost been a year since we last spoke and yet he has been floating around in my mind hard core as of late. I've tried reasoning with myself. I've tried warding him away with the power of thought, picturing all memory of him being tossed into the ether to never return. Nothing worked. So I felt pretty good with a conclusion I came to as I was falling asleep. I can't quite remember what it was, but I'm sure it was something associated with the fact that he isn't leaving anyway, so why not check in, in a controlled way as not to be a detriment to myself. I feel pretty good about it, all in all. It's another one of those we will have to see about.
It was cold in the house and no amount of bundling up was working so I finally gave in a changed out my comforters. There is something about changing the bedding that makes the season change real. But now here I am with a warmer night and a heavy down duvet. Hope I don't have to turn on the fan. So I was cozy and watching television and debating whether I should contact someone or not. Then I was sure I would but I was hesitating. Then he signed off and I couldn't. So I watched more television. Then he got back on and before I could convince myself to say anything, he did.
I was going to bed last night, wondering what to do. It's almost been a year since we last spoke and yet he has been floating around in my mind hard core as of late. I've tried reasoning with myself. I've tried warding him away with the power of thought, picturing all memory of him being tossed into the ether to never return. Nothing worked. So I felt pretty good with a conclusion I came to as I was falling asleep. I can't quite remember what it was, but I'm sure it was something associated with the fact that he isn't leaving anyway, so why not check in, in a controlled way as not to be a detriment to myself. I feel pretty good about it, all in all. It's another one of those we will have to see about.
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