I forgot to write about the incredibly hilarious/awkward doctor's appointment I had yesterday. I am talking to the nurse first about why I am there and all that normal business when the nurse asked when my last pap smear was. I said almost two years. She does the tsking thing. I said that I am not on birth control or having sex so...but she said that is was still good to do. Like I don't know that. I get this panic spike that they are going to force me to spread my legs then and there and then mentally chide myself for being ridiculous. But her judgment was so rife with authority...so scary.
Then the doctor came in and was cracking my shit up with his whole characterized persona. By that I mean, the dude was a frenzie of apologizes for the wait because he was "educating" a patient, used the phrase "fair enough" at least ten times in an encounter that lasted about as many minutes, and had the creepy no-blink eyes down pat. Not to say that he was creepy, overall not creepy at all and he was really go at listening to what I wanted to say and getting me out of there quick. He did mention birth control because one of the medicine options I could have been prescribed would need me to be on birth control least I were to become pregnant as it would make a very messed up baby. I assured him that I did not need birth control and he said "...abstinence is best..." or something to that effect which I thought was fairly mortifying considering I am about to be 24 and am not a high school at risk of getting knocked up behind the bleachers after track practice.
It made me think about all the "characters" in my life - those people that are just too kitchy to function and yet are real, surely three dimensional folk. One of the head cashiers at work is this type of individual and I find myself engaging her in conversation in an attempt to pinpoint her "essence" to best replicate it in writing. That is a hard thing to convey though, this totally genuine way of saying things like "...and my grandson says 'Nana, your tortillas...I really like them. They taste very good, Nana'". Or when I mention something logical when she is in one of her overstimulated run-a-bouts, "O-oh! You know what? I like how you think! That is very smart". I laugh and thank he and absorb the way she pauses after that inital "oh" and the beat between the praising sentences. No matter how many times the exchange goes down, she means it ever time.
Then the doctor came in and was cracking my shit up with his whole characterized persona. By that I mean, the dude was a frenzie of apologizes for the wait because he was "educating" a patient, used the phrase "fair enough" at least ten times in an encounter that lasted about as many minutes, and had the creepy no-blink eyes down pat. Not to say that he was creepy, overall not creepy at all and he was really go at listening to what I wanted to say and getting me out of there quick. He did mention birth control because one of the medicine options I could have been prescribed would need me to be on birth control least I were to become pregnant as it would make a very messed up baby. I assured him that I did not need birth control and he said "...abstinence is best..." or something to that effect which I thought was fairly mortifying considering I am about to be 24 and am not a high school at risk of getting knocked up behind the bleachers after track practice.
It made me think about all the "characters" in my life - those people that are just too kitchy to function and yet are real, surely three dimensional folk. One of the head cashiers at work is this type of individual and I find myself engaging her in conversation in an attempt to pinpoint her "essence" to best replicate it in writing. That is a hard thing to convey though, this totally genuine way of saying things like "...and my grandson says 'Nana, your tortillas...I really like them. They taste very good, Nana'". Or when I mention something logical when she is in one of her overstimulated run-a-bouts, "O-oh! You know what? I like how you think! That is very smart". I laugh and thank he and absorb the way she pauses after that inital "oh" and the beat between the praising sentences. No matter how many times the exchange goes down, she means it ever time.
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