Sometimes relying on music to make the day bearable is the best way to go. Since it is summer there are a few prime artists I like to listen to. Grandaddy and Metric have both been playing heavy in my car and when I can sneak some tunes on my phone at work.
I am able to maintain this kind of faux precise persona while cashiering. I interact with customers in a very formulaic way, even when it is funny banter it is easy go-to lines that just trip off my tongue without a thought. Fact is that I need it in order to function doing the same shit every day. To have this other persona do the job allows the me that hates everything I am doing to be numbed out. I notice the persona more when I am at work within an hour of waking up. That persona snaps into place fairly naturally and when I realize how effective it is (there is a moment each day when I do) I hope it wont fade as my mind wakes up.
Feeling of sluggishness in prevalent in my day-to-day now. I know it is the negative affecting me but it doesn't make it any less debilitating. The garden co-worker I chat with wants me to go with her and another co-worker for a day on the river next week, but I would have to switch days with someone to do it. I tried with one person, my best shot, but once he said no I didn't make much effort thereafter. Everything feels like an undue effort that I can't see the worth in trying sometimes. The rest of the time I see the worth, I just can't mobilize.
I am able to maintain this kind of faux precise persona while cashiering. I interact with customers in a very formulaic way, even when it is funny banter it is easy go-to lines that just trip off my tongue without a thought. Fact is that I need it in order to function doing the same shit every day. To have this other persona do the job allows the me that hates everything I am doing to be numbed out. I notice the persona more when I am at work within an hour of waking up. That persona snaps into place fairly naturally and when I realize how effective it is (there is a moment each day when I do) I hope it wont fade as my mind wakes up.
Feeling of sluggishness in prevalent in my day-to-day now. I know it is the negative affecting me but it doesn't make it any less debilitating. The garden co-worker I chat with wants me to go with her and another co-worker for a day on the river next week, but I would have to switch days with someone to do it. I tried with one person, my best shot, but once he said no I didn't make much effort thereafter. Everything feels like an undue effort that I can't see the worth in trying sometimes. The rest of the time I see the worth, I just can't mobilize.
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