Day 58

Ah, the Oscars. I have recently become acutely aware of how scripts get shopped to several actors/actresses and it is pretty much guaranteed that most of the nominated roles were lost out by several of the individuals in that room tonight.

So I find myself watching with that in mind, that there are people there who really wanted these roles and weren't deemed right for it and it went on to garner recognition with the skill of another actor. I can somewhat relate to the feeling from one key moment in my life when I really wanted a role and didn't get it and then had to watch the person who did perform. She did fine enough, but there will always be a bitterness at not being able to try my hand at it.

I also find myself alternating from skipping to pausing the show a lot tonight due to disinterest and second-hand embarrassment. I am less patient with the "lesser" awards tonight because I am at the tail end of my work week and just plain tired. The second-hand embarrassment part there is no help for. Everything those folks on the stage do results in me coaching myself to un-pause the show and make it through the show if only to get to sleep in a not so distant future.