Day 59

You know that awesome morning when you get to sleep in after a long work week? Well, it really sucks to wake up at 4-something-in-the-morning anyway because some little pup is clickity-clacketing away at the bedroom door. Oh yes, don't go outside when I offer before we go to sleep but instead at the ungodly hour I have been waking up at for the past five days.

So I let them out and manage to stay awake long enough to let them back in again and fall right back to sleep. Not four hours later I wake up to renewed clickety-clacketing. Now it is the other one (even though he went out when she did) and the slightest movement on my part has him all expectant of his freedom.

I even sat up in the bed and told him to lay down, but being that I was trying to stay connected to that thin veil of sleep, I couldn't direct him to his bed like I would a little while later when I had fully given up the fight but still resolutely refused to get up to let him out.

Besides that, the day has been uneventful. Thankfully so.

Day 58

Ah, the Oscars. I have recently become acutely aware of how scripts get shopped to several actors/actresses and it is pretty much guaranteed that most of the nominated roles were lost out by several of the individuals in that room tonight.

So I find myself watching with that in mind, that there are people there who really wanted these roles and weren't deemed right for it and it went on to garner recognition with the skill of another actor. I can somewhat relate to the feeling from one key moment in my life when I really wanted a role and didn't get it and then had to watch the person who did perform. She did fine enough, but there will always be a bitterness at not being able to try my hand at it.

I also find myself alternating from skipping to pausing the show a lot tonight due to disinterest and second-hand embarrassment. I am less patient with the "lesser" awards tonight because I am at the tail end of my work week and just plain tired. The second-hand embarrassment part there is no help for. Everything those folks on the stage do results in me coaching myself to un-pause the show and make it through the show if only to get to sleep in a not so distant future.

Day 57

In the end, it wasn't that bad of a day at all. After an initial scare that was caused by stupidity on my part, the vault ended up being closer to 0 than I have ever seen it with the new system. And even the amount it was off I understand now why it was so.

I enrolled in insurance for the first time in my life. It is an odd satisfactory feeling, to know I will be taking care of my health...but I don't like losing that money. I feel like I am increasingly trapping myself. First the car and now the insurance. With the car I am locked in to a monthly payment for at least 5 years. Given that I am making decisions based on my current living condition which is of the co-inhabiting variety, it freaks me out that I may be stuck living with people for the length of that time. Sure, I could get a raise (or several) in the time but the prospect of being stuck in the same job for that long with no way out in sight...ugh.

I suppose I wouldn't be so freaked out if every day I didn't see people who are resigned to working the same low end job until they retire or die. Then again, I get restless very easy and I already feel a need to do more, make more, save more...though to what end, I am not sure.

Day 56

I sucumbed to building fatigue and napped after I got home from work. Unfortunately, napping an hour or so somehow ruins all plans for the evening, my precious hours that I have to myself, because when I woke up I had to start the human routine of shower, food, and prep for the next day.

Tomorrow I have to work bookkeeping by myself for the first time at this location and with the new system that has yet to render out a $0 over/short. The goal is to not get overwhelmed, work at my own pace, and try to be as accurate as possible.

Add to that a new worry about how much insurance is going to be and with my money already some what locked with plans for a new car...I am trying to put that on the back burner for the new two day until my day off on Monday. Thinking about it all now gives me a headache and a fresh wave of exhaustion.

Day 55

So I haven't been reading much this week. Or at all. When I am working the vault it is impossible to read and I am too tired to read once I am home though I spend most of the afternoon catching up on news from my websites...

Like today, I got sucked into this post about the best anime openings. The list was shit, but the 20 pages of comments made it an attention vortex that I couldn't get out of, playing song after song, some I knew and some that were new. Now I have new shows downloading. Like I don't have enough television to watch.

In the vein on television, I just watched The Vampire Diaries and am sad it won't be back until April 7th. With that show, any break is painful because every episode is a game changer and this one was no exception. I don't think I will notice the absence too much though. Dragon Age II is about to be released and I still have stuff I can do on the first game to get ready for the new game.

I need to make a chart of shows I watch. I know tonight I have:

Vampire Diaries
30 Rock
The Office
Community

There are some others like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia but they are not running right now. I think Sundays are the hardest because I have

Big Love
Californication
Shameless

all shows I have to download and they can seem to pile up like office work or something. First World Problems 'R Us.

Day 54

Went to a dog park with Kristie and Ran. Took Zee and Dru and let them off leash after Kristie seemed confident that they would be fine. Dru was good, though intimiated by the other dogs who all were friendly but curious as dogs (not Dru) tend to be. Zee was overly curious and wandered away quite a few times.

It would have been fine if he would listen to me when I called to him but it must have been a massive sensory overload because he didn't care much what I was saying. At one point he started following two girls and their dogs as they started to leave the park, crossing the small street connected to the parking lot in the process. I was right behind him and he started to run so I followed right behind him and pinned him down. He yelped and acted like he was going to bite me. I don't know if he was playing or not, so I let him go and he runs off again with me chasing and pinning him down again with the same results.

I tried holding him down for a few seconds, to allow him to relax a bit out of whatever state he had worked himself into. It was bizarre, the wild look he was giving me. I have a nice bright red scratch on the back of my hand between thumb and first finger after this chase game.

I got him back to the main park easy enough and he didn't act up again. I think I was being a bit over-protective, but I had to be since neither dog are use to being in such an environment. I think they liked it, but it is a lot of work and worry for me. I will have to figure out when I can attempt to take them there again.

Day 53

It was Glee night with Brie and her friends again. Mel and Dave are married and Kelly is married as well though apparently her husband doesn't hang out with the group. We watched Glee and ate pasta and salad. Then we played a game called Quelf which we kept calling "Queef". I was in the lead for a good portion of the game, but in the end I lost to Mel.

I had to dance like a ballerina, act like a lipless, knee stuck, honey and feathered covered rhyming and dancing prison guard, grunt like Frankenstein (actually Frankenstein's monster though whoever made the game seemed to not know the difference), and compliment a fellow player as a malfunctioning robot. It was an interesting new game.

I was good and didn't drink at all since I have to get up in a few hours to work...not looking forward to it. I must remind myself when I am there that that job is in no way my life and should not become a stressor as if it was. I have better things to dedicate my time to and work is only a means to an end which results in money.

Day 52

I am suffering hardcore from sudden loathing of my job. Rather, I am not looking forward to working bookkeeping at this location because it seems there is no way to balance the vault. I don't want unknown overages and shortages to my name. I am also not enjoying being told that I am slow, I just sit there instead of getting up and looking for the source of the problem, and whatever else the full-timer wants to say to me.

We get along just fine normally, go out to lunch, and chat about our lives, but she just has that controlling personality that doesn't tend to jive well with my own. Add that to the complexity of the new system of bookkeeping that has come down, and I don't want to go to work on Wednesday and definitely don't want to work by myself on Friday through the weekend.

On an unrelated note...Another person I know is now pregnant. Only now it is someone I grew up with from elementary school through high school. It is odd, these people altering their lives forever, and the way I see it when you have a child, giving up a lot of yourself for the sake of the new life. I couldn't imagine doing that now, perhaps not ever. So while everyone continues to get married and knocked up, I'm going to stick to playing video games and reading.

Day 51

Finally went to Russell's today for brunch. I suppose it is nothing remarkable, but I liked their portion sizes for 1/2 sandwich/ 1/2 soup or salad. Fairly filling. More than that though, I find myself really tripped out at how close it is to my house, and more so after showing my friend around, how close everything is- really.

This would be oh-so-much cooler if I was a social butterfly, but because I am not I wont be fully taking advantage of this unique quality of the city and my position in it. But it does make it very easy for me when I am wanting to go out of the house, to have something to do without much effort needing to be made on my part.

I started watching the new Sarah Shahi vehicle. Michael Trucco! Yeah, seeing him is a highlight. I don't know quite what I think about the show in total, but I love me some Sarah Shahi, and she makes some floundering writing a bit less painful to digest.

Day 50

Started off the day starving. My visiting friend, Sandra didn't wake up until 11:30 and I woke up at 9 so I had a few hours to be hungry with before we went to Kerby Lane for what ended up being lunch.

I had their veggie burger with avocado and mozzarella. It was good.

Then we drove around aimlessly for awhile, saw some scenic areas by way of choosing where to turn on whim. We eventually parked on Guadalupe and walked that college area hard core, had some frozen yogurt and went to Toy Joy.

Then rushed to Mount Bonnell before it was fully dark, but it was still too dark for any decent pictures. I wanted to try this place near my house that I found must be another local chain like Kerby Lane since there was one next to KL as well. But it was packed and I wasn't having any of that.

We went to the east side instead and tried this organic farming restaurant, East Side Cafe. They have a garden in the back and a gift shop on the side. As they quote on their menu "We don't grow everything we cook, but we cook everything we grow". I had a blueberry soda that was very happy making and wild mushroom crepes that had a tomato sauce and a nut of some kind with ricotta and jack cheese. The taste was almost not to my liking, to be honest, and I don't know quite why, but the side of acorn squash that was topped with ginger soy sauce and the jalapeno cornbread muffin they gave with my spicy tomato soup (highlight!), lessened the taste or texture of whatever was bothersome.

We walked up and down the 6th street area without actually going into any bars. It was more of a people watching venture and a chance to chat. I was already ready to fall asleep after eating, so we came back to the house just as Kristie and her friend from out of town were getting ready to go downtown clubbing. They were already fairly tipsy, but Ran apparently either volunteered or was hoodwinked as chaperon for the night.

Day 49

Broken Social Scene was great! I was worn out from waking at 4:15 AM to be at work at 5AM and all the complications at work made me doubly tired, but it was still good times.

I talked to two guys while we were waiting for someone to start playing. One was wearing a Katamari t-shirt and was surprised I knew about the game since apparently very few people have. I mentioned Dragon Age, but despite the fact that they are game programmers, they haven't played the game. I had some fun explaining some aspects of the story to them.

My body eventually was aching and it caused many a mixed feeling as BSS continued to play past their planned set as they were having a good time and so were we. I was fidgeting on my feet, dreaming of a tall drink of water and fresh air for a good three or four songs before they finally stopped playing.

I mean, I love them, but I just couldn't fully do it tonight. I was a good show, regardless or my mortal complaints.

Day 48

Starting to wear down after so many days of working straight. Haven't had a day off since last Wednesday, and I still have to get through tomorrow. Then I will have fours days in a row, but the first two will be spent entertaining a friend who is coming into town.

We are going to see Broken Social Scene tomorrow night and then I have to come up with stuff to do that she would like. Shouldn't be too hard, but we shall see.

I keep having moments when I realize I live here and it is still a bizarrely detached state of being because I don't identify with the typical "Austin" essence and have really only glimpsed snippets of it what with my work schedule and penchant for video gaming. When I do think about exploring more I eneviatbly think about the person who is now nothing more than a fellow traveler who forked off on his own path. I still have waves of contrary feeling about him, fluctuating through relief that I don't know him anymore to awareness that my time here would be richer in experience if I did.

It's a waste of time and energy to entertain any thoughts on that matter, but I'm sure the impulse to contemplate such impossibilities will lessen in time.

Day 47

Okay, so yesterday I came back from lunch and Joe was using my register while I was gone. I noticed he moved some of my money around so I told him not to do that in the future and he somewhat aggressively explained that that was how his Head Cashier wanted the till (as if we have separate HCs which we dont). I mentioned that I had never been told that and that it was my till so...and before I could finish the sentence I knew he would come back with the fact that with this new system no till is exclusive to one cashier, we all share, just rotating around the registers. Which he did.

It wasn't what he was saying that was bothering me so much as how he was saying it. I was getting angry and there was customers around, and I didn't want to have it out then and there. I told him to stop talking to me and walk away. He said "No! Don't be angry now!" but still in this aggressive manner. I said "I am angry so you need to stop talking to me and leave me alone".

Now he went into full bull-headish mode and said he wouldn't walk away and that I was a baby when I threatened to call someone because he would not respect what I was asking. He tried to belittle my efforts to call someone in a position higher than ourselves, once again calling me a baby and even asking "who are you going to call?! What are they going to do?"

I said they would get him to leave me alone and he just laughed and called me a baby, but I already had the phone ringing for out Front End Manager and once I got her on the phone he walked away.

Later I had to give my statement of what happened to that same Front End Manager and one of the Assistant Managers. Apparently, Joe couldn't contain himself and told everyone at the front end his side, from what the Front End Manager said, he feeds on drama.

The thing is, this Joe and I had been getting along just fine, in fact having hung out with another co-worker outside of work which is out of the norm for me. But once you see someone is that determined to stir shit and will not walk away from a confrontation when asked, it's kind of game over to me.

Day 46

I am sufficiently tipsy right now, but I have to write something before I can sleep. Actually, I wrote a bit today at work, but I don't want to keep making "IOU" posts, so...

Housemate Brie invited friends over to make pizza and watch Glee and we did that. Only, I hadn't eaten anything since noon and had a glass of wine before eating so I got buzzed which continued to tipsy even after eating. I am going to sleep well tonight.

At work, I realized I could make up the world my characters live in instead of trying to research about colonial America. You would think I would have realized that sooner considering I have been played Dragon Age and reading Garth Nix novels, both unique world settings. So I will need to work on that.

I also got in an argument with a co-worker today, but I will have to write about that later as I seem to not have the patience to type that all out right now. Night.

Day 45

So, I felt so much better after sleeping a decent eight hours, and woke up around seven this morning from dreams of a Dragon Age-y nature. I wanted to beat the game before I had to be in to work at ten.

I did so...barely.

The outcome of the story wasn't what I wanted, but I found out through reading the wiki that explains all things Dragon Age, I couldn't have made what I wanted happen unless I changed some things mid-game. Kind of blows, but the game is immensely replayable, and I am already craving to play again. There is also the expansion Origins: Awakening that is downloading slowly that should be fun. And then Dragon Age II is out next month.

And...I also requested the first book by the guy who made the whole Dragon Age mythos that is all about that world, so hopefully the library branch I go to will get that fairly soon for me. 

Day 44

I left work early today because I felt crappy. I tossed a lot last night because (and this has been reoccurring more often than I'd like) my hip bones down to my knee bone would ache. So I would turn over only to wake up some indeterminate time later and turn back the other way.

That mixed with a dream involving a person I don't want to see in reality or in a manifestation of my subconscious, made for a very fruitless sleep.

Then I went to work and only my way there realized I may be cramping. Sure enough, I start to hardcore cramp and I didn't have anything that could prevent pant staining or any other mess for that matter.

I just wasn't feeling it today in general and am glad I got out of work even if I only come home and played Dragon Age. I am like...thisclose to being done with the game. But for now...sleep.

Day 43

I've been reading a lot and thinking about writing styles and structures. I realize when I am reading a book I tend to gloss over descriptions of expansive landscapes and general surroundings. I don't like unnecessary embellishments for one, but also, I am the type of reader who designs a lot of the surrounding myself, and at times the authors description does not coinside with my own and I have to adjust or ignore the text. Disorienting.

When I write, I don't tend to describe the surrounds much if at all. I give greater objects in a room their place, but only if there is reason to explain their existence to the reader. Reading Garth Nix books, I started to see this lack of detail as a flaw in some ways. While reading his generous descriptions on the landscape of both the Old Kingdom and Ancelstierre as the characters treked through them, I would lose focus, get bored, reread the passages to try to understand and picture what was described but ultimately found I couldn't be bothered.

That I can't write in such detail may be a flaw I will need to overcome if I want to write books, because readers need a guide, but lengthy passages that only reveal the setting have never appealed to me before. I could see myself getting caught up in the wordiness of a blade of grass passing through the air, freshly clipped from an old fashioned reel mower, but it would be insubstantial to a greater story and would therefore not be something that would come to mind as a writing essential amongst the main story.

Perhaps Nix writes in those details in later drafts, as the story is already established and in need of those fleshing out moments, but even then, I don't know if I would be wasting page space for bits that end up being of no real importance.

Not to say Garth Nix is guilty of over wordy lengths of description. He really isn't in comparison to some I have read in the past, but because I have been simultaneously writing my own story while reading his, it has become natural to look at his work as a guideline for what is moderately successful.

Day 42

People keep on stealing stuff!

A few day ago I had a guy run out with what I guess was a drill of some kind. Before I could approach him, though I had made movement to greet him like I do when someone comes by my register, he grabbed the drill out of the basket he had and ran.

It took my a few seconds as he was running out to realize what was happening and I only managed a feeble "sir" as he apparently got on a vehicle on the side of the store and fled.

Then today, I was talking to another associate when I noticed a guy running from the direction of the returns entrance and I did think it was odd, but he didn't have anything in his hands and he could have been trying to get somewhere in a hurry for other reasons.

Not five minutes latter though, while the two of us were still talking, this guy with an obvious bulge in his sweater walks through my entrance and makes the alarm go off. I again, try the feeble "sir", made meek by how he seemed to ignore the alarm, our presence, anything that wasn't him making his way out of the store.

Then I here someone else "Sir!" with more authority and one of the office guys comes around from the returns entrance after the guy and out of sight. He came back after having followed the guy up until her crossed the street to the neighboring store's parking lot at which point he couldn't follow him. He mentioned that his buddy had left before him from the other entrance and it clicks what I had actually witnessed earlier.

Messed up. I really want to yell "Look at your life, look at your choices" which is an internet meme and thus meant to be humorous, but it is also accurate. I feel if I can't run after these low lifes, I should at least get to tell them what shitty individuals they are.

Day 41

I watched a full episode of The Jersey Shore.

My housemates all like to watch the show, for reasons they say range from entertainment to wreck fascination, but I've been able to avoid the pull until tonight.

I just liked how we were all hanging out together. Brie had my dog, Zee, on the couch with her and he was in puppy heaven. I had my glass of ginger ale and a blanket. It was just too chill to get up at the first sign of dumb people on a dumb show.

And there were some hilarious moments, like one of the guys saying his buddy was "distrut" instead of distraught. So going to use that now.

Day 40

I was watching the valentine's day episode of Glee when I realized I had a certain longing for a valentine. This is an unusual want coming from me, so I asked myself why I would want a valentine. It took me only a few seconds to come to the conclusion that it would be for the free meal. I honestly just want a valentine so we can go out and eat something yummy and indulge.

I think it's a legitimate want.

Finding books on colonial America that are not reference books in a library or something you have to buy with...like money...is difficult.

I was going to make a sandwich tonight in prep for lunch tomorrow and find my bread missing. Yes, the same house mate that accidentally threw away my sandwich also took the at least half loaf of bread I bought to her work place. She was again, apologetic, and has shared food and meals with me plenty a time, but I hate surprises like that. If I hadn't chosen to make my sandwich tonight and instead waited until tomorrow morning when everything is a rush to get out the door, I would have left without a lunch.

Instead, I am taking some black beans.

Day 39

I got a mini-fridge!

I was leaving for work yesterday and stopped by the fridge in the kitchen to grab the sandwich I had made the previous day but had not eaten because they fed us at work. I figured if I put it in the side drawer with all the condiments, it would be less likely to be messed with.

So when I opened the door and my sandwich was missing, I initially thought that it was moved unnecessarily into the fridge proper just like the pint of blueberries I bought and now have no idea which is mine versus the other pint of blueberries. I dug around to no avail, though. The sandwich was not there.

I was running late but I had this feeling that it had been thrown away, so I quickly looked in the trash and sure enough...on the top of the trash.


Yeah...I took it out, made sure it was still zip-locked and later ate it for lunch. But in the meantime I was pissed at work. Well, until some hours later after asking Kristie who said it may have been "misplaced" but definitely not into the trash at her doing, I get a response from Brie. She had been doing food service for a film set over the weekend and came home to empty out the fridge of anything related to it once it was over. She thought my sandwich was one of the set she apparently made.

No big deal. Except...I have been worried about shit like this happening. I don't like my stuff being touched, and I don't like feel like I can't buy because they wont fit in the fridge.

I mentioned my interest in getting a mini-fridge to some of my co-workers and one of them actually had one he wasn't using. He wouldn't let me pay him for it, but thanks to him and my sister who helped me transport it from his place to mine, I now have most of my stuff in the comfort of my room.

Day 38

I wrote quite a bit at work, but since my sister came into town, I don't have time to type it up. So this is like a place marker for that.

Day 37

Typed up some more of the story from the pages I had written a while ago, though I haven't been writing much of it as of late. I am trying not to be to critical of structure and such right now, just get the basic ideas and imagery even though some things become awfully wordy or seemingly unnecessarily complex. Those are second draft type of issues or at least for me. Otherwise I will never move forward.

I read over the last paragraph I had typed up and found that I like how I had written it long hand on paper better than I had edited it while typing it out, so I did mess with that bit.

She blinked and refocused her eyes on the bodies in the room below. The unique looking man was approaching a stage at the front of the room as the group that had been huddled around him fanned out in front of the stage. As he reached the microphone positioned in the center of the stage conversations from the rest of the occupants in the room gradually ceased and faces turned towards the stage and the man in anticipation.

     "Thank you all for coming."

     She closed her eyes at the first word and expanded her hearing, allowing the words to become indistinct until it was only the rumbling melody that she could hear. She let the sound take her under for a moment, but only for a moment because she knew this gesture showed a certain measure of weakness. She could only reason with herself that it had been so long and she had been yearning all the while so this little weakness could be excused if for only a short time.

     She slowly opened her eyes and pulled her hearing back, the sensation like coming up from underwater, though still allowing for the enhancement that allowed her to make out all the sounds in the room below through the glass.

Day 36

So tired and it is only 8. I'm not surprised after how hectic yesterday was. Then I had weird post-apocalyptic dreams that kept my mind working for a good portion of the night. Oh yeah, and I succumbed to the lure of Girl Scout cookies and bought a box of Thin Mints. Ate a full sleeve and part of the next even though I know sugar makes me tired.

Now I only have a bite left of spaghetti and I am too full to eat it. I could wait a while, but because I am tired, I really want to get ready for bed and read or watch a show.



Okay, I have stopped writing this for a while, surfing the web and watching Craig Ferguson in wait for a thread of an idea, something to write here. I think I'm done for the night.

Day 35

It was implied by a customer that I am racist.

But I will start at the beginning.

There was snow. And then I had to go to work. It was a slow drive and getting going again from a stopped position emitted horrible wheel spinning from Blueberry. But the light was green and I went forward only to press on the break when some douchebag motherfucker decided to sail across from one of the lesser streets, making me break and promptly slide toward the curb and a telephone pole beside it. Blue luckily didn't hit at a high enough speed to go over the curb and into the pole, instead stopping as it butted against it, but it freaked me out.

Of course there was a car behind me that I tried to wave along as I got my bearings but they remained stopped until I got myself going again and saw through the rearview mirror it turning at the street I had just incorrectly parked in front of.

I get to work and find that nearly everyone called out, even people who live closer than I do to the store. I was consoled in thinking the day would be slow and a lot of bonding between associates would be had.

Once the sun melted the ice on the roads it was game on.

Hoards of people, non-stop checking out that made my middle finger (trigger finger for pricing gun) nerve sensitive by the end of the day, and worst of all, people being dumb about basic things like using a self checkout.

And then the lady effectively called me racist.

I was running low on coin and didn't want to request more as I had less than 30 minutes left before leaving. Two women, both African American women in their middle to late years purchased...I don't even remember what and it doesn't matter. I asked if the woman had the change despite her handing me cash that would cover the whole purchase. She acted like I was rushing her and told me to give her a minute so I explained why I was asking and she said "if I was a white woman, you wouldn't be asking".

I guess this says a lot about me, but I took it as a joke and laughed and emphasized how I had been asking everyone because my drawer was so "paltry" but she just repeated what she said, I laugh it off and finished her transaction, trying to point out my "paltry" change when the drawer opened but was met with a confused yet hostile face. I figured the vocabulary choice may have been a bit out of the norm.

I then asked if she would like a bag for her item and she again said "you wouldn't be asking if I was a white woman!" and then I got that she was serious. I said with not just a little incredibility that I asked everyone if they wanted a bag, but she just repeated her token phrase no matter what I said until I just stopped engaging her as I locked eyes with the cashier across from me and her customer who I felt must have mirrored my expression.

The woman was lucky I didn't freak out, as tired from the day as I was. Needless to say, everyone thought it was quite a ridiculous happening.

Day 34

Did nothing today with my day off. At least I had the excuse of the cold weather to stay inside under the covers all day.

Caught up on some television, indulged in some readings, and played some more Dragon Age. I need to go shopping for some things, but the weather and reality that my paycheck doesn't go through until tomorrow delayed that plan. I will see how tomorrow looks even though we are supposedly getting some snow tonight.

I can't get my antenna to work for the channels I need, so I have to wait for some shows that I would rather watch same-day. First World Problems R' Us.

Day 33

I had to work inside today because they deemed it too cold to open garden. I was wearing two pairs of socks, two warm pants, three shirts (one with a hood), a knit hat, two pairs of gloves, a scarf, and my long sweater...and they kept me inside.

It blew.

I get really lethargic when I work inside. My speech is slow, I am less engaging with the customer, especially when it becomes a long stream of transactions that span several minutes to a half hour. I guess others like that because it makes the time go by faster, but I would rather the time go by at a normal pace and I get to have downtime to do what I want like read and write.

I know that with the warm weather of spring, garden will become busy and soon I wont have the downtime nor the privacy of cashiering out there to myself. However...it doesn't stop me from wanting it to be so.

Day 32

Was absolutely freezing today. I tried to write, had time to write, as well as the inspiration and tools to do so, but my fingers were freezing off and I couldn't wear my mittens and successfully write with the fluidity necessary for easy free-flowing writing.

And yet, I still had customers come through garden. Some would bitch and moan about the temperature but they ultimately chose to get go out in the weather instead of staying inside...I guess I had the same option, but I didn't really bitch about the cold at the time.

I am starting to see how everything could work financially, how much I can save and spend. If I make 600 per paycheck, rent comes out of one, 525ish. Then groceries are about 120ish + 92 for phone bill + 60ish for gas= 272, round it to 300. 300 dollars from second paycheck. I want to save 200 a month, 100 from each paycheck, but I could also make that a payment for a vehicle, and the other 100 + 75 from first paycheck would be for enjoying the city and small savings.

There is a lot of wiggle room in there because a lot of variables change on a month by month, but I also have savings I could pull from if only on an every once in a while basis.