Almost halfway through with this project and I'm not really getting what I wanted from it. I don't know if I was just expecting a much more interesting life here or for my post-graduate mind to become a fount of creativity and insight, but I am not impressed with most of what I have been producing here.
This displeasure came into sharp focus when I went through my old blog on MySpace. I backed up all the writings from the blog, which spanned from January 2005 to sometime in the Spring of 2010. Then I went through and deleted each one from the website. In so doing, I read a little bit and realized that had been what was missing. The observations, the direct tap into the thought process that I was able to record a smidgen of. Only a smidgen, though. It wasn't perfect interpretations by any means, but I at least had these strong feeling and thoughts I wanted to convey and attempted to do so in sometimes clever ways.
So I am going to try to deviate from the record of daily accounts that this has become for me, and allow myself to reflect on thing if I want, if that is what it takes to trigger something new and creative and inspiring and not dull!
But right at this second? At this second I am going to sign off and take some drugs because I am beginning to cramp again. And my computer is doing that horrible audio belching sound it likes to do sometimes now. Ruining my tunes, dammit.
This displeasure came into sharp focus when I went through my old blog on MySpace. I backed up all the writings from the blog, which spanned from January 2005 to sometime in the Spring of 2010. Then I went through and deleted each one from the website. In so doing, I read a little bit and realized that had been what was missing. The observations, the direct tap into the thought process that I was able to record a smidgen of. Only a smidgen, though. It wasn't perfect interpretations by any means, but I at least had these strong feeling and thoughts I wanted to convey and attempted to do so in sometimes clever ways.
So I am going to try to deviate from the record of daily accounts that this has become for me, and allow myself to reflect on thing if I want, if that is what it takes to trigger something new and creative and inspiring and not dull!
But right at this second? At this second I am going to sign off and take some drugs because I am beginning to cramp again. And my computer is doing that horrible audio belching sound it likes to do sometimes now. Ruining my tunes, dammit.
No comments:
Post a Comment